I was at a conference last week. The conference was excellent -- it was with a lot of other lawyers -- sounds fun, doesn't it??
In any event, one of the issues that we discussed was the general unhappiness of lawyers and ways that it can be improved. there were interesting stats (some depressing...ironic, huh?), and a lot of very good thoughts on happiness -- like that it can be objectively measured and improved.
One of the discussion points centered around the idea of 3 good things. In a recent study, one group of people were required to write down 3 good things they saw, experienced, or felt, for one week. The control group was not under any such obligation. After 1 week, the groups were measured and compared. The group that was required to write down 3 good things were objectively happier than the other group.
In another study, researchers discovered diaries for a number of nuns in a convent in Europe. The Nuns had been born before 1917. The researchers reviewed the diaries and categorized them as positive or negative. The discovered that of those in the top quartile with positive thoughts, 90% were alive in 2002 (approx.). Of those in the bottom quartile, only 34% were alive.
I have decided to embark on the 3 good things task. The rules are as follows. I will write three good things that I see, feel, or experience everyday for 30 days. They cannot repeat (i can't mention my family each day), they must be different and independent. Other than that, they can be anything that i believe is good and a brief explanation as to why. I begin as follows:
THREE GOOD THINGS -- 9/23/13
1. My family (combined so i don't cheat) -- they are healthy and happy -- that is a good thing.
2. Larry Porter -- my closest friend and, in reality, my brother.
3. Anthony Graphenreed -- my nephew -- he lost his mother, my sister, about 3 years ago, but he keeps doing the right thing. I'm blessed to be related to him.
I have no doubt that this will get harder, but i cannot believe that I don't see, experience, or feel 3 good things each day. I will post daily to prove it can be done.
The real question is -- will anybody join me?
I hope you have a wonderful day
Be Easy
-cp
It is what the title says, it is simply what I think. nothing more and nothing less.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Martin / Zimmerman
"It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer",
-- English jurist William Blackstone
I've been thinking about Zimmerman / Martin a lot.
I was a public defender for a long time and I am a staunch defender of the rights of all people (even those charged with crimes). Unlike many, I can't get mad at the jury. This case was difficult b/c legally, he was likely not guilty -- my criminal defense friends might even agree. We were not in the courtroom every day. We did not see every piece of evidence that the jury did. We did not hear every witness. Even if we did, they were charged with following the law. I think they probably did that. We might disagree with the law (and I might), but I can't disagree with the verdict.
This entry, though, is not a moral defense of what happened. Clearly, Zimmerman's actions caused that boy's death. If he stayed in the car, as he was ordered to do, Martin is alive. As Jason Alexander wrote here, if Zimmerman does not have a gun, he probably doesn't follow Martin b/c he does not feel like he is invincible or something special. He would have let the police do their jobs (this is not a commentary on guns).
This might have been race related and I am not naive enough to think that if the races were reversed, he Zimmerman would still have not been convicted (stats bear that out). Zimmerman's idiot actions, though are not 2nd degree murder (or even manslaughter).
What is more disturbing to me are the protests around the country related to Zimmerman. I heard reports of dumpster fires, vandalism, assaults, throughout the country today related to the Zimmerman verdict. Is that what we have become? Rioting when something does not go your way? Protesting for one victim, when there are hundreds of victims around the country? Marching for a shooting in Sanford, FL, when there are shootings 3 blocks from where I sit? Marching for Travon Martin, when there are children in STL (and ever city) not getting sufficient care at home, not getting sufficient eduction, and not getting sufficient nutrition to survive in this world (let alone prosper).
People should use this as a wake up call. Not a wake up call regarding the value of black life or whether the criminal justice system works (I'd submit it does work and that is why the verdict was not guilty -- those jurors were not affected by the outside world -- they considered the evidence and acquitted). This should be one of many wake up calls that there is a lot that needs to be fixed and we should get started getting some of that shit done.
Have a nice day and be easy
-- cp
-- English jurist William Blackstone
I've been thinking about Zimmerman / Martin a lot.
I was a public defender for a long time and I am a staunch defender of the rights of all people (even those charged with crimes). Unlike many, I can't get mad at the jury. This case was difficult b/c legally, he was likely not guilty -- my criminal defense friends might even agree. We were not in the courtroom every day. We did not see every piece of evidence that the jury did. We did not hear every witness. Even if we did, they were charged with following the law. I think they probably did that. We might disagree with the law (and I might), but I can't disagree with the verdict.
This entry, though, is not a moral defense of what happened. Clearly, Zimmerman's actions caused that boy's death. If he stayed in the car, as he was ordered to do, Martin is alive. As Jason Alexander wrote here, if Zimmerman does not have a gun, he probably doesn't follow Martin b/c he does not feel like he is invincible or something special. He would have let the police do their jobs (this is not a commentary on guns).
This might have been race related and I am not naive enough to think that if the races were reversed, he Zimmerman would still have not been convicted (stats bear that out). Zimmerman's idiot actions, though are not 2nd degree murder (or even manslaughter).
What is more disturbing to me are the protests around the country related to Zimmerman. I heard reports of dumpster fires, vandalism, assaults, throughout the country today related to the Zimmerman verdict. Is that what we have become? Rioting when something does not go your way? Protesting for one victim, when there are hundreds of victims around the country? Marching for a shooting in Sanford, FL, when there are shootings 3 blocks from where I sit? Marching for Travon Martin, when there are children in STL (and ever city) not getting sufficient care at home, not getting sufficient eduction, and not getting sufficient nutrition to survive in this world (let alone prosper).
People should use this as a wake up call. Not a wake up call regarding the value of black life or whether the criminal justice system works (I'd submit it does work and that is why the verdict was not guilty -- those jurors were not affected by the outside world -- they considered the evidence and acquitted). This should be one of many wake up calls that there is a lot that needs to be fixed and we should get started getting some of that shit done.
Have a nice day and be easy
-- cp
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Lincoln etc
As some people know, on Wednesday, my middle child had her tonsils and adenoids taken out. This is NOT about that and how i felt about that. She came out of it fine. Instead, it is about something else that I always knew, but learned again.
On Wednesday, Bec took Lucy to Children's Hospital early in the morning for her surgery. It was me, Lily, and Lincoln. Lincoln and I took Lily to camp about 9 and then we drove down to my office.
He was so excited to drive down to my office. He kept chattering in the back seat as we drove down the highway. We listened the radio, which always makes him very happy. We parked on the street near Kiener Plaza and walked across the street.
We walked into the building. He really liked the revolving doors. We walked to the elevator as he asked, over and over again, what different things were. We saw an attorney in my office and as he walked away, Lincoln asked "who was that man?". He asked what the security lady "does". When we got to the elevators, we hit the button and got on.
As it went up, he declared that "this is fun". The doors opened and we walked to my office. He strutted down the hall (until Tina said hi, and then he cowered attached to my leg). We made it to my office and he walked around picking up paper and looking at stuff. He almost pulled the plant of my window sill to the floor (of course the plant is essentially dead, so it doesn't much matter).
After we left the office, we walked down the street towards teh arch. We passed two women taking pictures and Lincoln asked who they were. We waited at the cross walks, as Lincoln marveled at the cars whipping by. Finally, we made it across Memorial and we were walking on the sidewalk to the arch. As we walked towards it, Lincoln continued to say "that's big" as he looked up at the giant arch. Even I was amazed at how big that thing is. We walked to the arch and touched it (Lincoln wanted to).
Then, he wanted to walk down to the river. it was still high, though much lower than it had been. The water was covering the street and parking lots, but you could walk down the steps. We walked down and watched the water for about 20 minutes. We talked about the men who were working. We talked about the snow plows they use to clear the water. We watched the birds find things to eat. We sat on the railing and we just hung out.
After those twenty minutes, he wanted to go and, of course, he wanted me to carry him. I put him on my shoulders and we walked back to Kiener Plaza. Along the way, he tried to touch ever tree branch that was high in the air. He bounced on my shoulders, looking around, and describing everything that he saw, including the girl in the sunglasses, the man drinking from a cup, and the woman who took a picture.
When we got up the hill, he told me he was thirsty. I was thirsty too so we went to Hardees and got some lemonade. We walked slowly to the car, wandering by the fountain of red water (something else that confuses a 2 1/2 year old -- why is the water red?)
We got in the car and we went home. Lincoln and I hung out for about 3 hours Wednesday (after the Arch, we ran some errands) and it was some of the best hours of my year. It is rare that I hang out with the kids by themselves. I'm home on weekends and in the evenings, but they are all there. It was great to hang out with Lincoln and just Lincoln.
I learned something I always knew, but needed to be reminded about. Spend time with your kids (separately). Lincoln has no idea how much fun that I had with him and he has no idea how much it meant to me.
In the end, I didn't work on Wednesday and, do you know what ...it didn't matter. I still had work on when I got to work on Thursday. I answered a few emails that afternoon while Lincoln slept, but for three hours I was only one thing -- DAD
Have a great day (or hope you had a great day).
Be Easy
-cp
On Wednesday, Bec took Lucy to Children's Hospital early in the morning for her surgery. It was me, Lily, and Lincoln. Lincoln and I took Lily to camp about 9 and then we drove down to my office.
He was so excited to drive down to my office. He kept chattering in the back seat as we drove down the highway. We listened the radio, which always makes him very happy. We parked on the street near Kiener Plaza and walked across the street.
We walked into the building. He really liked the revolving doors. We walked to the elevator as he asked, over and over again, what different things were. We saw an attorney in my office and as he walked away, Lincoln asked "who was that man?". He asked what the security lady "does". When we got to the elevators, we hit the button and got on.
As it went up, he declared that "this is fun". The doors opened and we walked to my office. He strutted down the hall (until Tina said hi, and then he cowered attached to my leg). We made it to my office and he walked around picking up paper and looking at stuff. He almost pulled the plant of my window sill to the floor (of course the plant is essentially dead, so it doesn't much matter).
After we left the office, we walked down the street towards teh arch. We passed two women taking pictures and Lincoln asked who they were. We waited at the cross walks, as Lincoln marveled at the cars whipping by. Finally, we made it across Memorial and we were walking on the sidewalk to the arch. As we walked towards it, Lincoln continued to say "that's big" as he looked up at the giant arch. Even I was amazed at how big that thing is. We walked to the arch and touched it (Lincoln wanted to).
Then, he wanted to walk down to the river. it was still high, though much lower than it had been. The water was covering the street and parking lots, but you could walk down the steps. We walked down and watched the water for about 20 minutes. We talked about the men who were working. We talked about the snow plows they use to clear the water. We watched the birds find things to eat. We sat on the railing and we just hung out.
After those twenty minutes, he wanted to go and, of course, he wanted me to carry him. I put him on my shoulders and we walked back to Kiener Plaza. Along the way, he tried to touch ever tree branch that was high in the air. He bounced on my shoulders, looking around, and describing everything that he saw, including the girl in the sunglasses, the man drinking from a cup, and the woman who took a picture.
When we got up the hill, he told me he was thirsty. I was thirsty too so we went to Hardees and got some lemonade. We walked slowly to the car, wandering by the fountain of red water (something else that confuses a 2 1/2 year old -- why is the water red?)
We got in the car and we went home. Lincoln and I hung out for about 3 hours Wednesday (after the Arch, we ran some errands) and it was some of the best hours of my year. It is rare that I hang out with the kids by themselves. I'm home on weekends and in the evenings, but they are all there. It was great to hang out with Lincoln and just Lincoln.
I learned something I always knew, but needed to be reminded about. Spend time with your kids (separately). Lincoln has no idea how much fun that I had with him and he has no idea how much it meant to me.
In the end, I didn't work on Wednesday and, do you know what ...it didn't matter. I still had work on when I got to work on Thursday. I answered a few emails that afternoon while Lincoln slept, but for three hours I was only one thing -- DAD
Have a great day (or hope you had a great day).
Be Easy
-cp
Monday, May 13, 2013
Its been a while
The most difficult thing about writing is....wait for it.... writing...
Since my last post a lot has happened. I finished my LSL (Leadership St. Louis) class. We were class 37 and it was a great experience. To me, the best part was how everybody gained so much confidence. We heard over and over again how people felt more confidence because they were a part of the process and that group. I would have to agree.
Sometimes, we look at ourselves and, frankly, we don't see ourselves like others see us. It was odd to be around such accomplished people and, over time, realize that they accepted you for you .. that is that you belonged with them. I met such great people and I truly feel like I can do anything now.
I've been considering a number of things -- even running for state rep in IL -- running for school board and one reason is that this group instilled me with great confidence.
I learned so much about St. Louis, but also about me. I also learned so much about great people in the St. Louis region. Monica Conners with the St. Louis County Economic Council, Kira Banks at UMSL, Erik K. at Edward Jones, Andrew Scavatto at Stinson, Stephanie Regnanon at Monsanto, Erika Neal at the Griot Museum, Reagan Nelson, Leon Sharpe, Joe Gfaller, Tim Huskey, Michelle Fontaine, Kristen Fauss, Tim Huskey, Elissa Schauman, Michael Silver, and so many more that I can't name. They all taught me something.
The final weekend was a great good bye (but really an introduction into the rest of our lives together). We had a quite a party (too much alcohol, including a shot of Makers Mark -- WTF??), but it was also quite a good bye. We had gotten so used to seeing each other every month that still is odd to not have that "next month" coming soon.
I look forward to maintaining those relationships. I have made a personal goal of seeing 40 of my class mates in the next 6 months for lunch, coffee, drinks, etc. These relationships and people are the people that will help the region become as great as it can be.
Other than that, i had a great birthday. Played golf at Bellerive, ate dinner with my family (Lincoln did not make it the entire dinner), and ate some chocolate cake -- if you know me you know that is my favorite dessert <-- BTW, I always remember dessert has 2 Ss b/c of Ms. Short who taught us that dessert is something you want so it has 2 Ss (desert has one s), but i digress.
I'm 39 now (holy shit). I am doing a triathlon on Sunday. its going to be hot, but I'll survive. Wish me luck.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
-CP
BTW: I still can't get over the St. Louis American article. Odd to see something about you in print, especially when its positive...
Have a great day and keep perspective...remember, we all only have first world problems...
Since my last post a lot has happened. I finished my LSL (Leadership St. Louis) class. We were class 37 and it was a great experience. To me, the best part was how everybody gained so much confidence. We heard over and over again how people felt more confidence because they were a part of the process and that group. I would have to agree.
Sometimes, we look at ourselves and, frankly, we don't see ourselves like others see us. It was odd to be around such accomplished people and, over time, realize that they accepted you for you .. that is that you belonged with them. I met such great people and I truly feel like I can do anything now.
I've been considering a number of things -- even running for state rep in IL -- running for school board and one reason is that this group instilled me with great confidence.
I learned so much about St. Louis, but also about me. I also learned so much about great people in the St. Louis region. Monica Conners with the St. Louis County Economic Council, Kira Banks at UMSL, Erik K. at Edward Jones, Andrew Scavatto at Stinson, Stephanie Regnanon at Monsanto, Erika Neal at the Griot Museum, Reagan Nelson, Leon Sharpe, Joe Gfaller, Tim Huskey, Michelle Fontaine, Kristen Fauss, Tim Huskey, Elissa Schauman, Michael Silver, and so many more that I can't name. They all taught me something.
The final weekend was a great good bye (but really an introduction into the rest of our lives together). We had a quite a party (too much alcohol, including a shot of Makers Mark -- WTF??), but it was also quite a good bye. We had gotten so used to seeing each other every month that still is odd to not have that "next month" coming soon.
I look forward to maintaining those relationships. I have made a personal goal of seeing 40 of my class mates in the next 6 months for lunch, coffee, drinks, etc. These relationships and people are the people that will help the region become as great as it can be.
Other than that, i had a great birthday. Played golf at Bellerive, ate dinner with my family (Lincoln did not make it the entire dinner), and ate some chocolate cake -- if you know me you know that is my favorite dessert <-- BTW, I always remember dessert has 2 Ss b/c of Ms. Short who taught us that dessert is something you want so it has 2 Ss (desert has one s), but i digress.
I'm 39 now (holy shit). I am doing a triathlon on Sunday. its going to be hot, but I'll survive. Wish me luck.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
-CP
BTW: I still can't get over the St. Louis American article. Odd to see something about you in print, especially when its positive...
Have a great day and keep perspective...remember, we all only have first world problems...
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