A story

All that we hear these days is about all of the reasons things can't be done.  I don't know who to talk to.  I don't know where to go.  If I go, nobody will help me.  I don't know what I want to do.  I don't have the money.  I don't know where to get the money.  I can't, i won't, I don't.... Every reason that people come up with is complete bull shit.

In 1941, a boy was born to a 16 year old mother in St. Louis City.  They had very little money.  The boy's grandfather would have nothing to do with the boy's mother  because of the pregnancy.  The father was a successful man, but the boy, his brother, and mother received nothing from him..

The boy grew up near what is now the Central West End.  He, his mother, and his little brother lived in a very small house on the corner of Pendleton and Easton (what is now Martin Luther King Drive).  They had very little. The boy's father lived in the neighborhood, but he provided little support (either financial or otherwise).  The mother did what she could with what she had, but they had very little.

The boy was very smart, though he often hid it so his friends would not know he liked school.  As the boy grew, he did well in school even as many of his friends did poorly or did not even try to study and learn.   At 13, the boy began going to a local pool hall (as approved by his mother).  He learned to shoot pool and became quite good.  The boy began gambling to earn some extra money for the family and for himself.

As he grew up, he continued to do well in school even though his friends became involved in drugs, alcohol, or other behavior that made school, at best, secondary to them.  After the boy graduated, he joined the air force.  He was in until he was allowed to be discharged early due to a significant health problem with his mother.  When he came back, he had nothing.  He had a diploma, but nothing else.  he had no money and no real prospects..

He continued shooting pool for extra money and, eventually was hired by the United States Postal Service as a mail man.  He delivered mail for some time, but he knew and believed he could do more with his life.  Finally, at the age of about 25 began going to  Forest Park Community College.  When he started he had no idea what he was going to do.  He looked at the many brochures and decided he wanted to be a doctor.  He did not know how to become a doctor, but he figured he had to take a lot of science classes, so he did.  He went everyday, he studied, and he completed the 2 years at Forest Park.  He had no idea if he was taking the necessary classes.  He did well, but he had to figure out what to do next.

Remember, he had no mentor, no parental figure to help him, he had nothing but himself.   After those 2 years, still poor, still just hanging on, he talked to some people at Forest Park and he determined he needed to keep going to school.  Since he lived in St. Louis, and that was all he really knew, he applied for admission to St. Louis University.  He was accepted and he began classes.  He entered the pre-med program, even though, he may have been the most unorthodox member of that program he continued to excel.  He did not have the advantage of a family name.  He did not have the advantage of any information other than what he could find out on his own.

In addition to those hurdles, this was the late 60s / early 70s and he was Black.  Maybe now that is not as large of a hurdle, but then it still mattered.  He entered SLU and he was able to finish those final two years and obtain his degree.  In 1970, he got married to a Masters Candidate at St. Louis University.  She was a smart girl from Minnesota (guess what, she was white -- who would guess coming from Minnesota).  In 1971, this presented even different problems for both of them.  He, and they, perseevered.  During his senior year, he applied for admission to medical school.  He was admitted.

Finally, in 1975, he graduated from SLU Medical School and reached his goal of getting M.D. After graduation, the boy (now a man), his wife, and new son went to Baltimore for the boy's residency.  He completed the residency and moved the family to Superior, Wisconsin.  The remained there until 1985 when he moved his family back to St. Louis.  He worked primarily as an Emergency Room Physician during the bulk of his career.  This boy is my father.

He taught me more about perservence, personal responsibility, and accountability than anybody else.  He and my mother never let my brother or I make excuses for our conduct or situation.

I understand (as much as anybody who represents indigent clients) that situations and circumstnaces can make everybody's life difficult.  It can feel impossible to do what you need to do.  it can feel impossible to succeed and get what others have or feel.  In reality, those are excuses.  I know and understand it might be very hard.  Quit bullshitting around and get it done.  My father had no advantages, and, in fact had more disadvantages than people do now.  He figured it out.

Now my Mom and Dad live in Florida.  They are retired.  and when I go visit him (and probably when my brother vists him) he often talks about how he never thought he would be sitting on a patio of a home in Florida that is near a golf course and the beach, drinking scotch, smoking a cigar.  When he was growing up, he could not even attempt to dream about what he accomplished.  He had a thousand reasons not to go to Forest Park, SLU, or SLU  Medical School, but instead of focusing on the reasons he couldn't do it, he just did it.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Yes it was before 5 in the morning when I wrote the first draft b/c Lincoln likes to wake up very early.  He is happy and healthy (just like Lily and Lucy) and  that is all that really matters, even though I have been up since 330.

Be Easy and remember it is just what I think.

-cp